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[CPu]

"Gentlemen", said lord Henry at one of his regular gatherings of his friends, "Last night, I succeeded in cuckholding seven gentlemen!"
"Oh, did you?", answered the honourable members of the club with surprise.
"Yes, I did. I spent the night with my own wife!"

[CPu]

How do you drive a blonde crazy?
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2)
A blond is in the coffee house with headphones on; just standing in line to buy some coffee. Suddenly she gets this strange look on her face and starts beating on her cd player frantically. after about 2 or three minutes of this, the blond falls to the floor and dies right there in line.

Sometime later, the police arrive to investigate the scene. After interviewing several witnesses about what happened, the detective asks for the cd player. He puts the headphones on and hits play, but nothing happens. He believes the batteries are probably dead and asks for replacements.

With a new set of batteries in place, the detective hits play. He then puts the headphones on only to hear, "inhale....exhale....inhale....exhale".

[CPu]

This lady goes into a tattoo parlor and asks the guy to put a tattoo of a
turkey on her upper right thigh. She goes back to the same tattoo parlor
two weeks later and asks him to tattoo a picture of a Christmas tree on
her upper left thigh.

Stumped, the guy finally decides to ask her why she wants these tattoos.

She said, "I'm tired of my husband complaining every year that there is nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."